1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female… a man doesn’t want a man for his wife (well, let’s say normal a man!).
2. Dress pleasantly/attracti vely. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good (does that need further explanations) .
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”… because unlike women, men’s thoughts are as random as the results of a google search. Women on the other hand have thoughts as organized as a labeled file-cabinet!
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complaint about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet under the pretense of seeking help, even if you are the victim. Sister Hannah Gamal gives this advice, if you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either
1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and a couple can reunite in harmony, or
2. Amicable divorce
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam.
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence) etc. This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face b/c you get more depressed that you have a bad husband and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a housewife, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. NOT give command or instruction like servant. “They are garment to each other”
34. Tell your husband you love him many many times. A’ishah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot” and the next time round he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.” (anyone knows the source?)
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him. Ha ha ha (I think brother Shehab mentioned this too)
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, insha’Allah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisps.
40. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
41. They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I have a feeling this is true.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringin home the dough. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair… everyday.
45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities can be gifts.. ex: new shoes.(I do this at least once a week, and he loooves it).
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extreeemely geeky things like Access Queries, Tables and other boring accounting things.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies. (I bowl once a week now….even got pink bowling shoes and a shorter abaya) - Try (very very HARD) not to go shopping too much…and spend all his money
49. Look attractive and its ok/good to be seductive towards him.
50. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. Of course goes both ways.
51. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted ).
52. Take care of your skin, esp. facial. Face is center of attraction.
53. If you not satisfied intimatly, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait till matters become worse.
54. Don’t discuss important/controver sial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
55. Learn to compromise
56. Continue to do things for your husband and don’t take him for granted
57. Respect his rights
58. Whatever you do for him, intend it for the sake of Allah
59. Make chai for him or whatever hot drink he likes… it will sooth his ‘rough edges’
60. Take a day to listen to him only, even if he says only a bit. Don’t interject and don’t talk about your issues.
“O Allaah, place light in my heart, light in my tongue, light in my hearing, light in my sight, light behind me, light in front of me, light on my right, light on my left, light above me and light below me; place light in my sinew, in my flesh, in my blood, in my hair and in my skin; place light in my soul and make light abundant for me; make me light and grant me light.”
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