The Virtues and Rights of Marriage

The Virtues and Rights of Marriage

1. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that this world has
been created to be utilised and that of all the things
that are utilised in this world, there is nothing
better than a pious woman. In other words, if a person
is fortunate enough to get a pious wife, it will be a
great blessing. It is also a mercy from Allah Ta'âlâ
that she is actually a comfort for the husband and a
means for his success in this world and in the
hereafter. A person enjoys comfort from such a woman
for his worldly needs and she also assists him in
fulfilling his religious duties.

2. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that Rasûlullâh
sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said : "Marriage is my
way and my sunnah." "The one who does not act upon my
sunnah is not of me." That is, there is no
relationship between him and me. This is actually a
warning and a threat to the one who does not practice
on the sunnah and a mention of Rasûlullâh's sallallâhu
‘alayhi wa sallam anger on such a person. It is
therefore necessary to be extremely cautious in this
regard. Furthermore, how can a Muslim bear to have
Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam displeased
with him for even a moment. May Allah Ta'âlâ grant us
death before that day comes when a Muslim is able to
bear the displeasure of Allah and His Rasûl sallallâhu
‘alayhi wa sallam.

It is mentioned in a Hadîth that Rasûlullâh sallallâhu
‘alayhi wa sallam said : "Marry so that I can be
proud (of your numbers) on the day of judgement over
the other nations." In other words, Rasûlullâh
sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam likes his ’ummah to be in
large numbers and more than the other nations. If this
happens, his ’ummah will be carrying out more good
deeds, and in so doing he will receive more rewards
and gain closer proximity to Allah Ta'âlâ. This is
because whoever from his ’ummah does good deeds, does
so through his teachings. Therefore, the more people
who act on his teachings, the more reward he will
receive for conveying those teachings. We also learn
from this that whenever and however possible, we
should undertake to carry out those tasks and actions
that will take us closer to Allah Ta'âlâ, and that we
should not display any laziness in this regard.

It is mentioned in a Hadîth that on the day of
judgement the people will be standing in 120 lines.
Out of these, 40 lines of people will be from the
other nations while 80 lines of people will be from
the ’ummah of Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Glory be to Allah! How beloved Rasûlullâh sallallâhu
‘alayhi wa sallam is to Him.

The one who is able to (fulfil the rights of a wife)
should marry. As for the one who does not have
sufficient wealth (to fulfil the rights of a wife), he
should fast. That is, he should fast so that there
will be a decrease in his desires. Fasting is actually
a means of curbing his desires. If a person does not
have a very dire need for women, and instead has an
average need, and he is able to pay for her basic
necessities, then nikâh is sunnat-e-mu’akkadah for
such a person. As for the person who has a very urgent
need, nikâh will be fard upon him. This is because
there is a fear that he will commit adultery and
thereby get the sin of committing a harâm act. If a
person has a very urgent need but is financially
incapable of maintaining a wife, then such a person
must fast abundantly. Later, when he has sufficient
funds to maintain a wife, he must get married.

3. It is mentioned in a Hadith that children are the
flowers of jannah. This means that the amount of joy
and happiness one will experience on seeing the
flowers of paradise, that same amount of joy and
happiness is experienced when he looks at his
children. And we know fully well that children can
only be obtained through marriage.

4. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that when the status of
a person is increased in jannah, he asks out of wonder
: "How did I receive all this?" (That is, "How did I
receive such a high status when I hadn't carried out
so many good deeds to deserve such a status?") It will
be said to this person that this high status is on
account of your children asking for forgiveness on
your behalf. In other words, your children had asked
for forgiveness on your behalf. In return for that,
you have been accorded this status.

5. It is mentioned that the child who is born out of a
miscarriage (i.e. it is born before the due date) will
"fight"(wrangle) with its Creator when its parents are
entered into jahannam. In other words, this child will
go to extremes in interceding on behalf of its parents
and will ask Allah Ta'âlâ to remove its parents from
jahannam. Through His bounty, Allah Ta'ala will accept
the intercession of this child and He will be soft and
lenient towards it. It will be said to this child :
"O siqt (which means, miscarried foetus) who is
quarrelling with its Lord! Enter your parents into
jannah." So this child will draw its parents out of
jahannam with its navel cord and enter both of them
into jannah. We learn from this, that children of this
sort, who are actually a by-product of marriage, will
also be of help in the hereafter.

6. It is mentioned in a Hadith that when the husband
and wife look at each other (with love), Allah Ta'âlâ
looks at both of them with mercy.

7. It is mentioned in a Hadith that Allah Ta'âlâ has
taken it upon Himself (i.e. out of His mercy, He as
taken the responsibility) of helping the person who
gets married in order to attain purity from that which
Allah has made harâm. In other words, the person who
marries in order to save himself from adultery with
the intention of obeying Allah Ta'âlâ, Allah will help
and assist him in his expenses and other affairs.

8. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that two rak‘ats of
salât performed by a married person is better than 82
rak‘ats performed by an unmarried person. In another
Hadith, 70 rak‘ats have been mentioned instead of 82
rak‘ats. It is possible that this means that 70
rak‘ats are written in favour of the person who
fulfils the necessary rights of his wife and family,
and that 82 rak‘ats are in favour of the person who
apart from fulfilling their necessary rights, serves
them more with his life, wealth and good habits.

9. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that it is a major sin
for a person to be neglectful with regard to those
whom he is responsible for (and to have shortcomings
in fulfilling their needs).

10. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that Rasûlullâh
sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam said : "I have not left
behind any test and tribulation on men more harmful
than women." In other words, of all the things that
are harmful for men, women are the most harmful. This
is because, out of his love for a woman, a man loses
all his senses, so much so that he does not even take
the commands and orders of Allah Ta'âlâ into
consideration. Therefore, a person must not fall in
love with a woman in such a way that he has to act
contrary to the Sharî‘ah. For example, her demands for
her food and clothing are more than what the husband
can afford. In such circumstances, never accept any
bribes in order to supplement your present income.
Instead, give her from the halâl earnings which Allah
Ta'âlâ has blessed you with. You should continue
teaching your womenfolk and inculcate respect and good
manners in them. Do not allow them to become impudent
and disrespectful. The intellect of women is
deficient, it is therefore incumbent to take special
measures in reforming them.

11. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that you should not
propose to a girl when your fellow Muslim brother has
already proposed to her until he gets married or gives
up this proposal. In other words, when a person has
sent a proposal to a particular family and there is a
likelihood of their replying in the affirmative,
another person should not send a proposal to that same
family. However, if they reject this first person, or
he himself changes his mind, or they are not too happy
with him and are still hesitant in giving a reply, it
will be permissible for another person to send a
proposal for the same girl.

The same rule applies to the transactions of buying
and selling. That is, if a person is busy buying or
selling something, then as long as they do not
separate or abandon the transaction, another person
should not enter into their transaction and should not
offer a price above or below that which has been
already offered when there is an indication that they
are about to come to an agreement. Understand this
well, and know that a kâfir is also included in this
rule.

12. It is mentioned in a Hadith that a woman is either
married because of her Dîn, her wealth or her beauty.
Choose the one with Dîn, may your hands become dusty.
In other words, a man may prefer a woman who is
religiously inclined. While another may prefer one who
is wealthy. While yet another may prefer one who is
beautiful. However, Rasûlullâh sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam says that one should choose a religiously
inclined woman and that it is preferable to marry such
a woman. However, if the circumstances are such that a
woman is very pious but at the same time she is so
ugly that one's nature does not find her acceptable
and there is a fear that if he marries such a woman
there will be no mutual understanding between them,
and that he will be neglectful in fulfilling her
rights, then in such a case he should not marry such a
woman. "May your hands become dusty" is an Arabic mode
of expression which is used on different occasions. In
this context, it is meant to create a yearning and a
desire for a pious woman.

13. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that the best wife is
one whose mahr is very simple. That is, it is very
easy for the man to fulfil her mahr. These days, there
is the habit of specifying a very high mahr. People
should abstain from this.

14. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that you should look
for a good place for your sperms because a woman gives
birth to children that resemble her brothers and
sisters. In other words, marry a woman who comes from
a pious and noble family because the children
generally resemble the maternal relations. Although
the father also has some influence over the child's
resemblance, we learn from this Hadîth that the
mother's influence is greater. If the wife is from a
disreputable and irreligious family, the children who
will be born will be similar to that family. But if
this is not so, then the children who will be born
will be pious and religious.

15. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that the greatest
right that a woman has to fulfil is to her husband,
and that the greatest right that he has to fulfil is
to his mother. In other words, after the rights of
Allah and His Rasûl sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam the
woman has a very great right to fulfil to her husband,
so much so that the husband's rights supersede the
rights of her parents. As for the man, after the
rights of Allah and His Rasûl sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa
sallam, the greatest right that he has to fulfil is to
his mother. We learn from this that the right of the
mother supersedes that of the father.

16. It is mentioned in a Hadîth that if anyone of you
wishes to engage in sexual intercourse with his wife,
he should recite the following du‘â :

!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

The virtue of this du‘â is that if a child is
conceived through this intercourse, shaytân will not
be able to harm this child in any way.

17. There is a lengthy Hadîth in which Rasûlullâh
sallallâhu ‘alayhi wa sallam addressed ‘Abdur Rahmân
bin ‘Auf radiyallâhu ‘anhu asking him to have a
walîmah even if it is with one sheep. In other words,
even if you possess very little, you should spend. It
is preferable to have the walîmah after engaging in
sexual intercourse with one's bride. However, many
‘ulamâ have permitted it immediately after the nikâh
as well. It is mustahab to have a walîmah.