Teaching the Intricacies of Sex to Teens - Part 1

Sex for Youngsters

INTRODUCTION
The topic of sex has universal appeal. Sex is portrayed daily in various forms , directly or indirectly, in newspapers, magazines, cinemas, and in conversations between people . The topic of sex conjures images of sexuality , promiscuity , lewdness, adultery , fornication , pornography , rape ,teenage pregnancies, paedophilia , gays , sexually transmitted diseases, contraceptives, abortions and HIV/AIDS. Yet somehow , despite the fact that ‘everyone’ is influenced by this topic , it seems that most parents find this topic somewhat ‘delicate’ to discuss with their children.

Children of today seem to be maturing at a faster rate than a generation ago and often ask intelligent questions to their parents. Some parents do their level best to satisfy the natural curiosity of their children . Other parents simply don’t know how to handle these ‘fast – growing “ kids and often assume that the less said about the subject of sex ,the better. In some homes the word ‘sex’ is taboo and children are often reprimanded for asking innocent questions. Parents assume that children will ‘grow up” and in any case ‘they will learn” or that the school or friends are ‘responsible’ for sharing this knowledge. The reality is that parents who have this view, are overlooking a major and significant source of correct information regarding this topic ie themselves! Our children have the right to be given an unbiased view on sex based on the Holy Quran as well as the Sunnah of the Prophet Mohamed (SAW) .

The Western media is very powerful and often the main driver is money rather than values based on sound moral principles which have their roots in religion. This essay deals with this topic in an objective manner to throw some light on this issue and thereby , perhaps give some confused teenagers a clearer perspective of the choices that they can make. This essay is aimed primarily at teenagers . I am not a moralist nor a moulana. My intention is not to be judgemental on any individual , group or society but to simply give my opinion on this topic from an Islamic point of view. Any errors are my own and I seek the Forgiveness of Allah (SWT) for any errors contained in this article.

SEX EDUCATION
Studies have shown that the average teenager and pre-teen, receive their sex education from the following sources in order of priority:

FRIENDS

TV & MOVIES
PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES

OTHER MAGAZINES & NEWSPAPERS
BOOKS

SCHOOL
INTERNET

PARENTS

Parents fail to realise that EVERYONE is teaching your child about sex EXCEPT you. Everyone else is telling your kids about sex . How sure are you that this information is based on the guidelines laid down in Islam or is sex a fashionable industry that changes like the flavour of the month. Sex is a topic that advertisers and marketers use very effectively to sell their products. Unfortunately , the sources of information available to the pre-teen who is about to become a teenager are often biased. In this mirage , an illusion is created that ‘everyone” is having sex and that in this modern times , ‘anything goes “ and ‘ you only live once” so make the best of it. It is ‘cool’ to chew a particular brand of chewing gum or smoke a particular brand of cigarette because that makes you ‘rich’, ‘successful’ and will ensure that you can attract the ‘perfect’ partner. In fact , reality is far removed from the illusion that is fed to the senses of our unsuspecting youth.

With aggressive and sustained marketing, society comes to accept “abnormal” activities as ‘normal’; 10 years ago , what was considered ‘abnormal’ , ‘unthinkable ‘, ‘abhorrent ‘, “immoral “and “ shameful” is today considered “fashionable” , “normal” and “modern” .A typical example is, that after watching a few episodes of any prime-time soap opera on TV , one would get the impression that adultery is acceptable and normal ; pre-marital sex is in ‘fashion’ and that deceit , trickery , lying and manipulation are essential to “get” your man or woman no matter what the cost or hurt that others suffer in the process. Furthermore , the printed and visual media create the impression that marriage is old fashioned , live-in relationships and cohabitation are in vogue , being gay is fashionable , homosexuality , bestiality , escort clubs (prostitution) are all “normal”. We have reached a stage (through effective marketing) where certain individuals in society justify everything on their right to freedom of expression . If this is really ‘freedom” . then why do we see so many examples of the following scenarios :

(1) young adults are being infected with the HIV virus at an alarming rate ; South Africa has one of the fastest rate of growth in the number of infected people worldwide ; HIV/AIDS has reached epidemic proportions in this country . The age group that is mainly targeted is the teenagers and young adults
(2) a devout mother , loyal to her husband , suddenly develops a sexually transmitted disease (such as syphillis , gonorrhoea or Herpes or even HIV/ AIDS) ; how did this happen ? STD’s has reached epidemic proportions in the USA where 40 million people are infected with some form of STD
(3) Teenage pregnancy is on the increase ; girls as young as 11 are falling pregnant ie a child is pregnant with a child; many teenagers are having abortions which lead to emotional, physical and mental side effects
(4) Girls as young as 10-12 are having unprotected sex with devastating consequences ; when questioned , these young children say : “ no one told me that it is wrong ‘
(5) Wonderful homes breaks up and end in divorce because the husband (or wife ) was having an adulterous relationship; the main victims in this scenario are the children
(6) Females between the ages of 2 and 80 are being raped
(7) Homosexuality is on the increases ;these acts of sodomy that were once considered an abomination against humanity , are now considered “normal” to the extent that gay marriages are being allowed in some parts of the world.
(8) More and more relationships end up in hurt, depression , unhappiness , conflicts and regret

The above examples show that the issue of ‘sexual liberation” has in fact enslaved the very people that it attempts to free .The sexual liberators are being enslaved in the chains of disease , depression , divorce , dissatisfaction, double-standards, deceit and discontent. Individuals, organizations and governments are actively searching for solutions to halt this tide of immorality and its associated truckload of problems.

Recent research has shown that 2/3rd of the schools in USA are now promoting the idea of “no sex before marriage” and that “safe sex” is not “use condoms” , but that the only safe sex is “no sex before marriage “ and only 1 sex partner for life (ie no adultery). Furthermore , many states in the USA are promoting the idea of having pride in remaining a virgin until marriage and many students are signing certificates vowing their commitment to this new “fashion” of abstinence. How long will this last ? Will we once again undergo a new sexual revolution?

The answer to this dilemma and to all dilemmas facing any society where the fabric of society is under threat from immorality , alcoholism, drugs, gambling, crime, dishonesty , and materialism can be found in the Holy Quran which has been sent for all humanity.Its principles have a universal application for all times. It has been the task of the Holy Prophet Mohamed (SAW) to give a practical implementation to the Universal message of the Holy Quran so that anyone that follows the perfect example of the Holy Prophet (SAW) will be on the Straight Path.

AB – withheld62@yahoo. com
First They Came for the EXTREMIST, FUNDAMENTALIST & MODERATE Muslims. And I DIDN’T Speak Out Because I Wasn't An Extremist, Fundamentalist or a Moderate Muslim. Then FINALLY They Came for Me the NON-PRACTICING Muslim And NO Muslims Were Left to Speak Out for ME.