Prohibition of Disobeying Parents and Doing Good to Parent's Friends and Other Relatives

Prohibition of Disobeying Parents and Severance of Relations



Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala, the Exalted, says:



"Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.'' (47:22-23)



"And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allaah's Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).'' (13:25)



"And your Rabb has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Rabb! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.''' (17:23-24)



336. Aboo Bakrah Nufai`bin Al-Harith radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the major sins?'' The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam asked this question thrice. We said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allaah. (Please inform us.)". He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Ascribing partners to Allaah, and to be undutiful to your parents". The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam sat up from his reclining position and said, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony; I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony". The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam kept on repeating that warning till we wished he would stop. [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].



Commentary: This Hadeeth mentions some of the major sins. A major sin is one against which there is a serious warning in the Noble Qur`aan and Hadeeth. When disobedience to parents is mentioned along with Shirk (polytheism) , it makes the fact evident that both of these are very serious sins. Similar is the case of telling a lie and false testimony, which in the incident mentioned in this Hadeeth made the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam to leave his pillow and sit attentively. It indicates that the latter two are serious. May Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala protect all Muslims from all such sins.



337. Abdullah bin`Amr bin Al-`as radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "(Of the) major sins are: to ascribe partners to Allaah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath (intentionally) ". [Al-Bukhaari] .



Commentary: There are many more major sins which have been enlisted and discussed at length by Muhaddathun in independent volumes, such as Az-Zawajir `an iqtraf-al-Kaba' ir, Kitaab-al-Kaba' ir by Adh-Dhahabi. This Hadeeth mentions some of the major sins enumerated by the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam on a particular occasion. We can also say that the sins mentioned here are some of the most serious among the major sins.



338. `Abdullah bin`Amr bin Al-`as radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "It is one of the gravest sins to abuse one's parents.'' It was asked (by the people): "O Messenger of Allaah, can a man abuse his own parents?'' The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "He abuses the father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former's father; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his mother". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].



Another narration is: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "One of the major sins is to curse one's parents". It was submitted: "O Messenger of Allaah! How can a man curse his own parents?'' He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "When someone curses the parents of another man who in return abuses the former's father; and when someone abuses the mother of another man who in return abuses his mother.''



Commentary: We learn from this Hadeeth that one should not abuse anyone's parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin, he will be responsible for disgracing his own parents.



339. Aboo Muhammad Jubair bin Mut`im radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Jannah". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].



Commentary: This Hadeeth poses a serious threat to those who violate the Divine injunctions of maintaining good ties of kinship. In spite of such a serious warning, this major sin is very common in our present-day society. The purpose of this warning is that Muslims prevent themselves from it. May Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala save us from it.



340. Aboo 'Isa Al-Mughirah bin Shu`bah radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Allaah has forbidden you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allaah dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit to one), and to waste your wealth". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]





Chapter 42: Excellence in Doing Good to the Friends of Parents and Other Relatives



341. `Abdullah bin`Umar radhiallaahu` anhu reported: The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father". [Muslim]



342. `Abdullah bin Dinar reported: `Abdullah bin`Umar radhiallaahu` anhu met a bedouin on his way to Makkah, he greeted him, offered him to mount the donkey he was riding and gave him the turban he was wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said to him: "May Allaah make you pious! Bedouins can be satisfied with anything you give them (i.e., what you have given the bedouin is too much). Upon this,`Abdullah bin`Umar said, the father of this man was one of `Umar's friends whom he loved best, and I heard Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam saying, "The finest act of goodness is the good treatment of someone whom one's father loves".



Another narration goes: When`Abdullah bin`Umar radhiallaahu` anhu set out to Makkah, he kept a donkey with him to ride when he would get tired from the riding of the camel, and had a turban which he tied round his head. One day, as he was riding the donkey, a bedouin happened to pass by him. He (`Abdullah bin `Umar radhiallaahu` anhu) said, "Aren't you so-and-so?'' The bedouin said, "Yes". He (`Abdullah bin `Umar) gave him his donkey and his turban and said, "Ride this donkey, and tie this turban round your head". Some of his companions said, "May Allaah forgive you, you gave to this bedouin the donkey which you enjoyed to ride for change, and the turban which you tied round your head".`Abdullah bin `Umar radhiallaahu` anhu said,"I heard the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam saying, `The finest act of goodness is the kind treatment of a person to the loved ones of his father after his death,' and the father of this person was a friend of`Umar. [Muslim].



Commentary: This Hadeeth teaches that after the death of one's parents, one should maintain contact with their friends and treat them nicely. Besides being a great virtue it is warranted by the needs for showing compassion to relatives. To forget friends of one's parents and break contact with them is condemned by the Sharee`ah.



343. Aboo Usaid Malik bin Rabi`ah As-Sa`idi radhiallaahu` anhu reported: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam when a man of Banu Salamah came to him and asked, "O Messenger of Allaah! Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their death?'' He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honour their friends.'' [Aboo Dawood].



Commentary: We learn from this Hadeeth that one should consider the life of one's parents a blessing because their life provides one with an opportunity to serve them wholeheartedly, which is ordained by Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala. If one wants to be nice to them after their death, one should adopt the methods mentioned in this Hadeeth. It needs to be noted that it does not mention the ceremonies like recitation of the Noble Qur`aan on the third, seventh and fortieth day after the death of a person, in vogue in our society. All these methods of conveying the reward of virtuous deeds or rites are wrong for the reason that they are neither helpful for the dead nor the living. What really benefits the dead as well as living, is prayer and begging forgiveness from Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala. In this Hadeeth, these have been regarded as acts of beneficence for the deceased parents. It clearly means that the children will be rewarded for the virtuous acts they do for their parents and the status of the deceased parents will also be elevated in the next world. The acceptance of the prayer in favour of the deceased parents is also confirmed from that Hadeeth also which tells that death brings to an end all the activities, except the following:



Firstly, an ongoing Sadaqah (Sadaqah Jariyah); like the digging of a well, the building of a masjid, etc.,



Secondly, knowledge which benefits Muslims;



Thirdly, prayers of virtuous offspring.



344. `Aishah radhiallaahu` anha reported: I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam as much as I did of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha, although I have never seen her, but the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam used to mention her very often. Whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut it into pieces and send them to the women friends of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anhu. When I sometimes said to him: "You treat Khadijah in such a way as if there is no woman on earth except her". He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam would say, "Khadijah was such and such (commending her and speaking well of her), and I had children from her". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]



Another narration is: And if he Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam slaughtered a sheep, he would send meat to the friends of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha as a present as much as would suffice them.



Another narration is: When a sheep was slaughtered, he Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam would say, "Send this meat to Khadijah's friends.'' Once, Halah bint Khuwailid, sister of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha, sought permission of the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam to enter. He recognized and recalled to his mind the manner of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha and was deeply moved. He said, "O Allaah, she must be Halah bint Khuwailid". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]



Commentary: This Hadeeth brings out the following five points:



1. A brief reference to the great qualities of Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha.

2. The love that Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam had for Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha because of her great qualities.

3. Reference to the kindness which the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam continued to show to the women who were close to

Khadijah radhiallaahu` anha.

4. Expression of the sentiments which the remembrance of some deceased friend brings with it. These sentiments can be pleasing as well as

painful.



345. Anas bin Malik radhiallaahu` anhu reported: I set out along with Jarir bin `Abdullah Al-Bajali radhiallaahu` anhu on a journey and he served me. I said to him: "Don't do that.'' Thereupon, he said, "I have seen the Ansar doing this with the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam, and I swore by Allaah, whenever I accompany anyone of the Ansar, I would serve him". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]



Commentary:
1. This Hadeeth gives a fair idea of the love that the Companions of the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam had for him. It was so profound that

they regarded it a great honour to serve the servants of the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam, even if they were younger in age.

2. It also tells of the hospitality of the Companions of the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam. They neither felt any hesitation in showing

respect to their youngers nor were they shy of serving them.

3. The Companions of the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam had a friendly, fraternal and faithful relationship with one another and

it was founded on a common bond in them - the gratitude for the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam.