I not been practicing my religion for quite some time.

My experience in Islam began as a graduate student in New York City
in 1998. Up to that point in my life, for 25 years, I had been a
Protestant Christian, but had not been practicing my religion for
quite some time. I was more interested in "spirituality" and looking
for anything that didn't have to do with organized religion. To me,
Christianity was out of touch and not relevant to the times. It was
hard for me to find anything in it that I could apply to my everyday
life. This dissolution with Christianity led me to shun everything
that claimed to be organized religion, due to my assumption that
they were all pretty much the same, or at least in terms of their
lack of relevance and clarity.

Much of my frustration with Christianity stemmed from its lack of
knowledge and guidance around the nature of God, and the
individual's relationship to Him. To me, the Christian philosophy
depended on this rather bizarre intermediary relationship that we
were supposed to have with Jesus, who on one hand was a man, but was
also divine. For me, however, this difficult, and very vague
relationship with our Creator left me searching for something that
could provide me with a better understanding of God, and our
relationship to Him. Why couldn't I just pray directly to God? Why
did I have to begin and end every prayer with "in the name of Jesus
Christ?" How can an eternal, omnipotent Creator and Sustainer also
take the form of a man? Why would He need to? These were just a few
of the questions that I could not resolve and come to terms with.
Thus, I was hungry for a more straightforward, direct and clear
approach to religion that could provide my life with true guidance,
not just dogma that was void of real knowledge based in fact.

While in graduate school, I had a Jewish roommate at the time who
was a student of the martial arts. While I was living with him, he
was studying an art called silat, a traditional Malaysian martial
art that is based on the teachings of Islam. When my roommate would
come home from his silat classes, he would tell me all about the
uniqueness of silat and its rich spiritual dimension. As I was quite
interested in learning martial arts at the time, I was intrigued by
what I had heard, and decided to accompany my roommate to a class
one Saturday morning. Although I did not realize it at the time, my
experience in Islam was beginning that morning at my first silat
class in New York City back on February 28th, 1998. There, I met my
teacher, Cikgu (which means teacher in Malay) S., the man who would
provide with my basis and orientation to Islam. Although I thought I
was beginning a career as a martial artist, that day back in 1998
really represented my first step toward becoming Muslim.

From the very beginning, I was intrigued by silat and Islam and
began spending as much time as possible with my teacher. As my
roommate and I were equally passionate about silat, we would go to
my teacher's house and soak up as much knowledge as we could from
him. In fact, upon our graduation from graduate school in the spring
of 1998, upon his invitation, we spent the entire summer living with
him and his wife. As my learning in silat increased, so did my
learning about Islam, a religion that I had hardly any knowledge of
prior to my experience in silat.

What made my orientation to Islam so powerful was that as I was
learning about it, I was also living it. Because I studied at the
home of my teacher, being in the presence of devout Muslims allowed
me to be constantly surrounded by the sounds, sights and practices
of Islam. For as Islam is an entire lifestyle, when you are in an
Islamic environment, you cannot separate it from everyday life.
Unlike Christianity, which lends toward a separation between daily
life and religion, Islam requires its followers to integrate worship
of Allah into everything we do. Thus, in living with my teacher, I
was immersed in the Islamic deen and experiencing first-hand how it
can shape one's entire way of life.

In the beginning, Islam was so new, different and powerful to me. It
was also very foreign in many ways and the amount of discipline it
requires was difficult to understand. At the time, I was so liberal
in so many ways, and was used to shunning anything dogmatic or
imposed, regardless of who authored it! As time went on, however,
and my understanding of Islam grew, I began to slowly see that what
seemed to be religious dogma was really the lifestyle put forth to
us by our Creator – or the Arabic term, "deen" of Allah. This
lifestyle, I would later learn, is the straight path to true
contentment, not just the sensual and superficial way of life that
my society and culture promote. I realized that the question is
quite simple actually. Who could possibly know better than the all-
wise Creator, what is the best way of life for human beings?

From the day of my first silat class in New York City to the day I
took my shahadda, July 30, 1999, I underwent a thorough self-
examination that was comprised of two major experiences. One was the
process of questioning the culture I was brought up in, and the
second was struggling to understand the true nature of God and the
role of religion in my everyday life. As for my culture, this one
was not as difficult as most people would think. For me, growing up
in America and knowing no better, it took a powerful experience, a
gifted teacher, and the right knowledge to experience truth.
American culture is very powerful because it constantly bombards us
with sensual gratification. Unless we are removed from it, it is
difficult to see its limitations, which are based on worshipping and
putting faith in everything but God, the only One that can provide
us with real, lasting support in our lives.

Being a social scientist by trade, much of my time is spent working
on and pondering over the ills and dilemmas of our society. As I
learned more about Islam, I came to the conclusion that societal
ills are based primarily on unhealthy, dysfunctional social
behaviors. Since Islam is a lifestyle focused totally on the most
healthy, positive way of conducting our lives in every setting, then
it is, and will always be, the only true answer to any society's
social dilemmas. With this realization, not only did I decide that
Islam was relevant to my everyday life, but I began to understand
why it is so different from other religions. Only Islam provides
knowledge and guidance for every aspect of life. Only Islam provides
a way to achieve health and happiness in every dimension of life –
physical, spiritual, mental, financial, etc. Only Islam provides us
with a clear life goal and purpose. And only Islam shows us how to
live in and contribute to a community, not just talk about it. Islam
is what everyone needs, and what so many who have not found it yet,
are searching for. It is the path to purpose, meaning, health and
happiness. This is because it is the straight path to the source of
all the power we could ever need – Allah.

It was only until I actually became Muslim that I realized just how
encompassing our lifestyle truly is. Literally everything we are
instructed to do has one underlying purpose – to remember Allah. It
just shows the absolute and divine brilliance of the deen, in that
there is a lifestyle that can show you how to remember your Creator
in as simple an act as greeting someone, or getting dressed in the
morning, or waking up from sleep. Islam shows us that by constantly
remembering Allah, everything we do becomes focused on Him, and thus
becomes an act of worship. From this, our energy, our thoughts, and
our actions all become redirected away from unhealthy and useless
causes, and focused on the source of all goodness. Thus, we are
continuously tapping into His divine strength, mercy and grace. So,
by remembering Allah constantly, we become stronger, better, and
healthier in every aspect of our lives.

There were, and still are, aspects of Islam that have proven at
least somewhat difficult for me. Nevertheless, I thank Allah
everyday for the ease to which he has allowed me to make the
necessary changes in my life so that I can continue to live in
America and still be, Insha-Allah, a good Muslim.

As a white, middle-class American, many of the cultural aspects of
Islam are quite different from what I, and those close to me
throughout my life, have been used to. In fact, when I finally broke
the news to my family that I had taken my shahadda and become
Muslim, almost all of their questions and concerns were related to
cultural differences – marriage, social life, family, etc. They were
much less concerned about my general beliefs around God and
religious practice. For my family, friends, and co-workers, becoming
Muslim was not seen necessarily as a negative change, but it has
required a great deal of education for them about Islam. In fact, as
with my own education, this process of sharing the truth about Islam
with them is never-ending because there is no limit to how much
knowledge we can acquire, and it is the responsibility of every one
of us to share whatever right knowledge we have.

Because acquiring right knowledge is such a critical component to a
Muslim's development, having a teacher who has taught me how to
apply Islam in everyday life that has made all the difference for me
and helped me in managing whatever difficulties I have experienced
from my reversion. Having someone knowledgeable you can turn to
whenever you have questions is a wonderful support that every new
shahadda should go out of their way to find. Islam is not a religion
that can be rationalized, in the way that Christianity and Judaism
have been over the ages. It is a clear path that must be followed
exactly as Allah laid for us through the life of our beloved Prophet
Muhammad (SAW), his companions, and the saints and scholars of Islam.

In this day and age, in this society, discerning the path can often
be difficult, especially when we are constantly faced with questions
and doubts from people who on the surface may not be hostile to
Islam, but whose general lack of faith can have a harmful effect on
someone who bases everything they do on their love for Allah. It is
also not easy being in an environment where we are constantly
bombarded with sensual temptations which are seen as ordinary,
common aspects of everyday life. But when we have the support of a
knowledgeable, experienced teacher, who is able to apply the
universal teachings of Islam to his life, then the truth becomes
clear from error, exactly how Allah (SWT) describes in the Qur'an.
From this, we are able to understand how to apply Islam correctly to
our own lives, and thus receive Allah's many blessings. The ultimate
test, however, of anyone who claims to have true and right
knowledge, is to look at how they apply it in their own lives. If
their actions support their teachings, then and only then should we
look to them for guidance.

My journey to Islam, although short, has been a life-altering
experience. It is one that with every passing day, makes me more and
more appreciative and thankful to Almighty Allah. The extent of his
mercy can only fully be understood from the perspective of someone
who prostrates themselves regularly and submits their will to that
of the Creator. This is what I strive for through Islam, and what
the ultimate jihad is. It is the struggle that we must fight every
moment of every day, but one that we love, because we know who to
turn to for support and who is helping us along.

I look back at my life prior to Islam and reflect on the different
ways I sought guidance. I think back to all the different ideas I
once had of who God really is, and how we can become close to Him. I
look back now and smile and perhaps even shed a tear because now I
know the truth. Through Islam, I know why so many people who do not
believe have so much fear inside them.

Life can be very scary without God. I know, because I once harbored
that same level of fear. Now, however, I have the ultimate "self-
help" program. It's the self-help program without the self. It's the
path that puts everything is in its proper place. Now, life makes
sense. Now, life is order. Now, I know why I am here, where I want
to go, what I want my life to be, how I want to live, and what is
most important not just to me, but to everyone. I only hope and pray
that others who have not found the path yet, can feel the same that
I do. Alhamdulillahi rabbil aylameen……


Abdul Lateef Abdullah Krauss

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